


Have You Tried Magic?

by Lex_Munro



Series: Stories From the Fateverse [30]
Category: Cable and Deadpool, Deadpool (Comics), Doctor Strange (2016), Marvel (Comics)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Sci-fi, Alternate Universe - Science Fiction, Crossover, Dimension-Hopping, Gen, Technobabble, the magical equivalent of technobabble?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-13
Updated: 2018-06-13
Packaged: 2019-05-21 22:17:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14923872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lex_Munro/pseuds/Lex_Munro
Summary: “This is Doctor Weirdo, Senior Theorist, here to diddle your brains with magic.”“Yeah, no, my name is actually Doctor Stephen Strange.”





	Have You Tried Magic?

**Author's Note:**

> **warnings:**   crossovers, fateverse, sci-fi, and the Savant’s pottymouth.
> 
> **disclaimer:**   recognizeable characters belong to Marvel.
> 
> **timeline:**   follows up on [**Firsthand Research**](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14871792).
> 
> **notes:**   1) a Saint('s) Name is an extra middle name given to a Catholic at either Baptism or Confirmation, usually chosen to represent a desired virtue or a patron Saint, typically the Saint whose feast takes place on the child's birthday.  2) 'Jinkies' is the catchphrase of Velma, bespectacled crime-solving genius of Scooby Doo fame.

**Have You Tried Magic?**

  
“Have you tried magic?” Strange asks.

Wade sneers.  “Magic is unreliable, poorly understood, and shittily documented.”

Strange scoffs.  “You must know some pretty lousy sorcerers.”

“Oh, _please_.”

“No, really; the vast majority of my magical training involved reading and studying.  And along with that came days of practice to achieve consistency.  Almost exactly like becoming a surgeon, actually.” 

Wade fumes for a moment, embarrassed against all odds.  “Could you have a look, Senior Theorist 157?” he grits out.

Strange smiles triumphantly.  “Wow, you really _do_ hate doctors.  Oh, this’ll be fun.”

“If you schism reality in the District, even for the sake of comedy, you will be in violation of Network Law,” Wade says quickly.

“Spoilsport.  Let’s go see your little guinea pig, Doctor Wilson.”

“Don’t be disrespectful, dickwad,” Wade snapped.  “This is my dead boyfriend’s fucking _life’s work_ , and this guy’s the key to it.”

“Apologies.  I meant ‘the patient,’ of course.  After you, Senior Theorist 042.”

So Wade takes him to the chrononeurology lab, where Hank and Moira are analyzing data with matching expressions of despairing boredom while the test subject aggressively ignores Samson.

“This is Doctor Weirdo, Senior Theorist, here to diddle your brains with magic,” says Wade.

“Yeah, no, my name is actually Doctor Stephen Strange.”

The Traveler shrugs.  “Why not?  First Doctor Who, now the guy who lives in an invisible mansion…”

They settle him into his chair again, stick their electrodes to his skin, switch on all the relevant equipment.

“I’ve never seen magic before,” says McCoy.  “Not real, actual magic.”

Strange makes a pained face.  “Well, then don’t bother me with questions about what I’m doing or how it works.  In fact, it’ll be better if only Doctor Grump speaks while I’m doing this.”

“I’ll intercede if I feel it necessary for the patient’s health and rights,” says Samson.

“Sure, yeah, whatever…”

“One to beam down,” Wade says, and hits the transmission pulse.

The Traveler goes vacant-eyed, and Strange leans in, watching.

“You suggested magic, Strange,” grunts Wade.  “Thrill me.” 

“Hah.  And you retorted with glib derision.” 

“Glib Derision is my Saint Name.  Also, magic is weird and doesn’t make sense.”

“Think of it this way,” Strange says as he moves his hands over the test subject’s scalp.  “Magic is, broadly speaking, a specialized subset of probability resonance that we don’t really understand the underlying math for.  I mean _nobody_ does.  It flies in the face of almost every known rule of chronogeometry.  It behaves like a force, but also like an interaction, and sometimes like a physical reaction.  Some people can sense it, almost everyone can be taught to manipulate it on a very basic level.  With a strong enough power source, it can rewrite large parts of reality.”

“You’re not making me feel better,” Wade grunts.

“My point, Doctor Wilson, is that we didn’t always understand the math for time travel, even when we started using it.  Even the Founder’s people didn’t start out understanding it, and they literally turned themselves into a race of time travelers with an entire sixth sense devoted to the ebb and flow of the timestream.  Just because we don’t understand the math doesn’t mean it’s not there.”

Okay, that...that actually does make him feel a little better about all the mumbo-jumbo.

“Any clues yet?”

Strange gives him a sidelong scoffing glance.  “What am I, Scoo—jinkies.”  He blinks at the test subject.  (Hank and Moira perk up.)  “Okay, it feels very similar to astral projection.  In fact, it feels like his conscious mind isn’t anchored to his body at all.”

“We knew that.  The old man and his two sidekicks already telepathically figured his whole mind leaves.”

“No, that’s not what I meant.  When I voluntarily project my consciousness out of my body, the whole thing moves; but it’s still tethered, so anything that happens to my body affects my consciousness, no matter how far away I’ve gone.  That’s not the case here; this hardware in his brain has severed that connection.  My theory:  being untethered makes him similar to any other free-moving spiritual mass, enabling him to possess his hosts, which is why he can come and go without causing any lasting damage.  If he forced the issue, he’d probably hurt them, like any other possessing spirit; but as long as he’s gentle, they don’t even know he was ever there.”

Wade tilts his head while the lab monkeys take notes.  “He’s…a ghost…who mostly only possesses himself?”

Strange rolls his eyes.  “That’s a really absurd oversimplification, but sure, yeah, we’ll go with it.”

“Is there a downside to this?”

“I’m no Proctor, but I imagine it’s something like the downside of going comp-int.”

“So now we understand its basic nature, we can instigate it, and we can track it.  But even though we figured out that the duration of the displacement—possession—is directly related to the chronogeographical distance from his original body, we still don’t know how the destination is determined.”

“Bummer.  That’s kind of the important part.”

Wade points at the controls.  “Now that you know what to look for, can you monitor some more displacements to see if there’s any difference between them, any factor that could be his cosmic GPS route?”

“I can make the attempt, anyway.”

“Three trip limit,” Samson says, just to suck all the joy from the room.

  
**.End.**


End file.
